My husband

I decided Im going to dedicate one blog post to each of the 3 most important people in my life. The first is to my amazing husband. How lucky am I that I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend? We met in Nov 2000. I had just moved to A-ville and so had he. We worked together, as managers at BK. I had just moved to NC, after ending my relationship with my ex. He had moved to A-ville from Hickory to take the job at BK. He was also in the process of ending his 3 year marriage. Over the next couple months, he became my best friend. He was there for me, listened to me cry over my ex, or being homesick and missing my friends and most importantly, he talked me out of making the biggest mistake of my life. He never really talked about his marriage. I knew he was leaving her, he knew he could talk to me, just didnt want to. Then one night in Dec of 2000, we were both stuck at work till about 3am because of the hood cleaners. We talked, non-stop for HOURS. It was so much fun. I get home and realize my feelings were much deeper than friendship, but he had things to figure out, a marriage to deal with. I figured it was just a crush and it'd pass. After all.. I still had feelings for my ex.
Id go back home to visit my friends as often as I could( at least once a month) and found myself missing him more and more. Id make excuses to call him, just to hear his voice. I began to realize, I was in serious trouble. LOL A couple weeks later, he comes to work and tells me has left his wife. I asked him if he was ok, if he needed to talk and he said he was fine and thanks but there was nothing to discuss. It'd been over for a while, he was just saving money to leave. My heart, at this point, is pounding so hard I thought you could hear it a mile away. But I had no self-esteem. My ex had literally destroyed me. Made me feel worthless and that no one would ever love me. I thought, no way in hell this amazing guy would want me.
FF to Feb 2, 2001. Im at work, he comes in and says.. well well.. I had a nice visit to this town called Big Stone Gap, VA today(this is my hometown) I was like no way in hell you went there. And he began to describe the town. I was FLOORED. When I asked him WHY he had gone there he replied, just wanted see where you grew up and why you love it so much. The next he confesses his feelings for me and wants to go to BSG WITH me and meet my friends. Color me speechless. So we go. He meets everyone who matters to me the most, Amy, Erin, Brittany, Jen and Amber. We stop at McDs on the way out of town to grab something to eat. We are sitting in the car, he goes Look at me. I did. And he kissed me. I have NEVER felt like that before. I know I have found my forever.
We get married in Dec of 2002, our 1st child is born March 2003, 2nd child 2005.
I love him more than ever. He supports us, will do anything for his family, is the best daddy i could have asked for and after 10 years... the man still gives me butterflies and I miss him like crazy when he's not home.
If you would have told me in Nov of 2000, what this man was going to be to me, that I couldnt live without him, Id have laughed in your face.
This is for you babe. For all you are and all you do. I cant begin to thank you enough and you will never truly know how much I love you.

Failure

This is hard to write.. even harder to admit. But Im a failure. As a mother as a wife, as a person. I love my babies more than life itself. But right now, as of this second, I cant stand to be around them. They have turned into defiant, back-talking, non listening, whining spoiled brats. MiMi has turned into the world's biggest tattle tale, Pickle, who BTW skipped the terrible 2s, has now entered the terrible 7s. He will throw himself on the ground, stomp his feet, kick and scream if he gets in trouble or doesnt get his way. Im at a loss. Ive taken the Wii, the DS, the TV, the toys, resorted to spanking and neither one of them really cares.
Kevin is working 6 days a week, about 80 hours a week now. So Im home alone with the kids most of the time. I miss my husband, I miss having him by my side, helping. I hate going to bed alone. I MISS working. You know its bad when I say that right! I miss it. I miss my friends, adult interaction, even shitty ass rude customers that we make fun of once they leave. Right now, I just want a good book, a hot bubble bath and a tall STRONG adult beverage.
Rationally, I know its the fact that, once again, we got hit with a major snowstorm and I have been cooped up in this house(alone cause Kevin was out of town) for a week straight with both kids. Pickle hasnt been to school in a week. MiMi is feeding off his attitude and defiance and well.. she's a 5 year old girl. She's ALREADY full of divatude. I havent had time with Kevin in god knows how long and I havent even had time to myself, which I so desparatley need right now. I want my life back, I want our routine back and things to just get back to normal.
Spring oh spring... where are you. Ironically... the first day of spring is Pickles 8th birthday