Failure

This is hard to write.. even harder to admit. But Im a failure. As a mother as a wife, as a person. I love my babies more than life itself. But right now, as of this second, I cant stand to be around them. They have turned into defiant, back-talking, non listening, whining spoiled brats. MiMi has turned into the world's biggest tattle tale, Pickle, who BTW skipped the terrible 2s, has now entered the terrible 7s. He will throw himself on the ground, stomp his feet, kick and scream if he gets in trouble or doesnt get his way. Im at a loss. Ive taken the Wii, the DS, the TV, the toys, resorted to spanking and neither one of them really cares.
Kevin is working 6 days a week, about 80 hours a week now. So Im home alone with the kids most of the time. I miss my husband, I miss having him by my side, helping. I hate going to bed alone. I MISS working. You know its bad when I say that right! I miss it. I miss my friends, adult interaction, even shitty ass rude customers that we make fun of once they leave. Right now, I just want a good book, a hot bubble bath and a tall STRONG adult beverage.
Rationally, I know its the fact that, once again, we got hit with a major snowstorm and I have been cooped up in this house(alone cause Kevin was out of town) for a week straight with both kids. Pickle hasnt been to school in a week. MiMi is feeding off his attitude and defiance and well.. she's a 5 year old girl. She's ALREADY full of divatude. I havent had time with Kevin in god knows how long and I havent even had time to myself, which I so desparatley need right now. I want my life back, I want our routine back and things to just get back to normal.
Spring oh spring... where are you. Ironically... the first day of spring is Pickles 8th birthday